Suffering & Love

I've been wrestling a lot lately with the question of suffering. What I have been wresting with, as C. S. Lewis puts it, is that 'If God were good, He would wish to make His creatures perfectly happy, and if God were almighty, He would be able to do what He wished. But the creatures are not happy. Therefore God lacks either goodness, or power, or both.'

I have also been wondering why I suffer with the seemingly pointless things I suffer with. And it struck me today - If my suffering is for the purpose of refining me to love people better; to become a better person for others and therefore to change the word for the better – then my suffering can have profound meaning: to help ease the burden of suffering of others. The very thing that distresses my spirit and calls me to question God's goodness.

I have a quote on my wall, by Elizabeth Kubler Ros, that says this:

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

I read this and I'm reminded of my question: why does a loving God allow suffering?

In my assumption that a loving God could not allow suffering, I am saying that (the absence of) suffering is The Most Important Factor in the expression of pure love. That there is nothing higher, nothing is more important.

However, what if there is something more important for pure love than the absence of suffering, and that the existance of this 'something' unfortunately requires the existence of suffering? Perhaps real love allows free will (which can create suffering), and the existence of real love is worth the existence of suffering.

And perhaps my experience of love is so diluted and flawed, that I cannot comprehend the meaning of this statement.

This may in part explain why a loving God would permit suffering, but why he would also weep when we weep. When I was feeling particularly low one day, and couldn't stop crying over my troubles, I opened my Bible. This is the first thing I read: 'They soon arrived, weeping and sobbing, and the king and all his servants wept bitterly with them.' (2 Samuel 13:36)

Our suffering brings God much pain – for he really is a loving God – but there is something that exists that is greater than this great evil of suffering, something that is the ultimate expression of pure love. And that thing is partially hidden from us. Proverbs 25:2 says 'It is the glory of God to conceal a thing; but to search out a matter is the glory of kings.' Where God hides, we question. Why? Why is there suffering when our God is loving? And where we question, we search. Jeremiah 29:13 says, 'You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.'

We see glimpses of this hidden thing; what might be higher and a greater expression of love than the absence of suffering. We see reflections and glimpses that point to it; when men lay down their lives to fight for their country, when people cry out to God for the first time amidst their pain, when the family of a cancer victim sets up a foundation that saves many lives.

God is all powerful, but there seems to also be a logic that the world is created by and in. It is the same logic that required Jesus to die in order for our sin to be dealt with. Why God couldn't just say, 'Never mind, all's forgiven, swept under the rug!' In order for the beauty, the riches, the freedom, the joy and the intimacy to happen in the scenario of sin and separation from God: something seemingly terrible had to also happen. An exchange took place, a suffering that released more power than we fully understand.

I believe the profound mystery of suffering is linked to the profound mystery of the cross.

The idea that there is something greater than suffering, and that we must go through fire to gain it, may make our eyes flinty, our resolve steely and renew our ability to be the heroes we are called to be.

There is a reason that epic, heroic movies like Braveheart, Gladiator, Batman, Spiderman, Superman – and the rest – move us in our core. Why our skin ripples and our hearts beat a little faster and our muscles flex. 'Deep cries out to deep' as our souls reconnect with the hidden thing, the thing blurred by blood, sweat and tears.

I still don't fully know why we suffer, especially in circumstances that seem particularly pointless. The midst of suffering feels like the greatest injustice. And the pain of great suffering seems to consume everything else. Will we ever discover a satisfying answer to this?

I don't know what God's grand plan is, but he promises to give us the strength to endure whatever we are called to endure but we need to trust him in order to do this. We may well not have the strength to endure and trust him, unless we remind ourselves frequently that with God, nothing, NOTHING is ever in vain. That he stores every tear, will redeem every ache, and will resurrect life from death.

And somehow we must trust, that if we could see what we are unlocking by enduring this fallen world, we would go through it all over again to help attain this full revelation; the astonishing, secret plan of pure love.

Love Really Is All You Need

I’m reading a brilliant book at the moment, called The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges. I was looking for a book on striking the balance between living in freedom from the law and living in obedience to God. The two seemed at either ends of the spectrum to me, so reading the New Testament felt like riding a rollercoaster ride: ‘WOOOHOOOO, WE’RE FREE!!! …. Ok so I need to obey all these commands otherwise I will …. WOOOHHOOOO JESUS HAS DONE IT ALL FOR US! …. Ok so I’m not really a Christian unless I do all … WOOOHOOOO!’ (etc.)

I asked God to help me understand this apparent contradiction. And I’ve found that the secret lies in the greatest commandment.

‘“Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”
Jesus replied, “You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself. The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:36-40)

Love.

(By the way, ‘to love’ is a verb.)

I wonder how many of us are living in the truth of this?

It’s my natural inclination to read the Bible and see all the rules and instructions and strive to obey them. I’m a perfectionist - meaning my first thought is ‘do the right thing’ and not make mistakes. As a result, I tend to do things out of a need to please and experience anxiety or shame if I fail to keep every last one of them. But if the driving force of your life is keeping the rules, you'll probably be quite a serious and anxious person – more inclined to think that the sky might fall down if you’re not careful. And fear can bind you.

I think this is what Paul had in mind when he wrote: ‘… you are trying to make yourself right with God by keeping the law, you have been cut off from Christ! You have fallen away from God’s grace … For you have been called to live in freedom – not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another in love.’ (Galatians 5 v 4 & 13)

If we’re trying to keep the law, we’ve completely missed the point of what Jesus did for us. Eternally, he’s saved us - but within this life, Jesus has taken on the responsibility of the law and sin so that we are free to love more. This is what Jesus meant when he said, ‘“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfil them.”’ (Matthew 5:17)

We are no longer bound to the law as we once were. And the secret to understanding this lies in the greatest commandment. We must swap our driving force from the need to be ‘right’ (law), to love. Living under the law impedes our ability to love better because we’re constantly preoccupied about ticking the boxes and our performance. This results in a more self-gratifying person, as opposed to an altruistic person. The law tends to wrap us up in ourselves and make us self-righteous and judgemental.

It is love, not law that transforms us. Love radicalises our thinking and gives us a fresh
perspective that can change the world and lead to greater freedom in our lives.

Love changes everything.

So our concern should be living a life of love. It’s Jesus's concern to deal with the law and sin. That’s why we’re ‘cut off from Christ’ if we preoccupy ourselves with rules. Besides, ‘our love to God will always manifest itself in obedience to him’ (TDOG p.118).

I am not lowering the bar for holiness; I am swapping it for a different bar. From law to love: a new perspective.

So how about from today, we decide every morning when we wake up to live a life of love. To make it our goal to live not by 'what is right' but 'how can I love more?’

Paul summaries all this perfectly in Romans 13 v 8-10:

‘Pay all your debts, except the debt of love for others. You can never finish paying that! If you love your neighbour, you will fulfil all the requirements of God’s law. For the commandments against adultery and murder and stealing and coveting – and any other commandment – are all summed up in this one commandment, “Love your neighbour as yourself.”
Love does no wrong to anyone, so love satisfies all of God’s requirements.’